


Remix of Memories

by Donzepan



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bobby | Trevor Wilson Defense Squad, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Dissociation, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, No beta we die like Sunset Curve, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donzepan/pseuds/Donzepan
Summary: .....Years and years after this particularly exhausting night, Bobby would admit it the day had started off pretty good. As good as his life could be back then, anyways. Which was still pretty shitty.OrBobby was... coping with the boys' deaths until his manager makes a comment that reminds him of them
Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Ray Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Rose
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Remix of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Had the idea for this fic after listening to the song go tonight from the mad ones musical. Takes place about 20- 24 months after the guys died. 
> 
> CW: Panic attacks, technical dissociation, depression, grieving, canonical deaths

Years and years after this particularly exhausting night, Bobby would admit it the day had started off pretty good. As good as his life could be back then, anyways. Which was still pretty shitty.

He felt... off the entire day. Disoriented.Like he wasn't meant to be there. Meant to be anywhere. He wanted to curl up in his house and sleep. Ignore the world and stay in bed. Unfortunately, he had a busy day ahead of him and his manager would not be happy if he missed any of it. So he forced himself to get up and he got ready to get in the car that would take him to Star Records.

Despite the day starting off wrong, Bobby had accomplished most of what he was meant to that day without any incident, signing off on designs for merchandise and getting through a fairly successful soundcheck. If he was a bit quieter than normal, no one said anything. It was only right before the concert started that things went to shit.

"The Escapades are about to start! Trevor is on right after!"

There was a lot of noise and movement behind him as Bobby sat in front of his dressing room mirror, fixing his hair. He startled when his door opened, relaxing minutely as his manager walked in.

"Hey kid, you're on in 10". he said.

Bobby kept his eyes on the mirror as he replied. "Thanks for the heads up".

The older man started walking towards the door, before stopping and turning to Bobby.

"Don't forget kid, you've gotta make an impression. I have an great marketing team, but they can only do so much. It's on you to give the audience what the paid for. "

At Bobby's nod and quiet yes sir, the manager walked back out the door saying

"Tonight's another crucial step on the road to becoming a legend. Don't mess up".

Bobby's heart turned to ice and his hand froze in his hair as the door shut.

That one word cause the dam to burst and before he realized what happened Bobby was gasping and shudding in front of the mirror. His hands were gripping the vanity as he took ragged breaths.

 _ **(We're gonna be legends)** _.

He tried to remember the breathing excercises he had helped Alex through, but just the thought of his band mate made his breath quicken.

The hand that was calmly running through his hair a few minutes ago was now grabbing it tightly, the other hand following suit. The singer's chest was thudding and his ears were ringing as he took ragged breaths. His panic was disrupted by the sound check guy and his manager calling for him.

"Trevor Wilson you're on in 2 minutes. hurry up!"

His head shot up at the sound, and his unfocused eyes directed their gaze to the mirror. The singer's eyes were red and his face was paler than normal.

If you asked him how his performance was that night, he couldn't tell you. His body was on autopilot, his hands aching with every strum, his vocal chords protesting at every note. his mind was in an entirely different place. All he could thing about was how _wrong_ this was.

How it should be Luke singing instead of him. How he should be able to look to his right and see Reggie bouncing around the stage. Be able to look back and see Alex drumming his heart out in his stupid ripped jean jacket. It was all wrong. _wrong wrong wrong_ .

He felt _wrong_ after he finished his last note, and after he went back to his dressing room and called Rose, and after his team drove him home.

He sighed as he pressed his head on the cold garage door. Rose had been worried about him, but he knew she had a family trip coming up and brushed off her concern and offer to stay with him. Said that he should be able to take care of himself, that she shouldn't have to watch over him like a baby. Ray and her should have fun together visiting her family.

He wasn't sure if he regretted it.

What little remaining energy he had was completely zapped out of him, and he slid down to the floor.

As he sat there he slowly drifted off to a restless sleep, waking up every half hour or so in the dark studio almost completely unaware of his surroundings.

He would have stayed there for the rest of the night but it was chilly and uncomfortable and he knew Ray and Rose would be upset, or worse; concerned. Bobby slowly brought himself up to his feet, ignoring the protest from his knees and legs.

He stumbled around the studio for a little while before he found a flannel laying on a bunch of plastic bags.

He reached out to grab it until his vision cleared and he realized the flannel wasn't his. It was Luke's. His fingers reached carefully now, as if they were scared that yanking it too hard would cause it to turn to dust.

As he slipped it on, Bobby was surprised to find that it didn't smell like Luke's cologne, but Reggie's soap. When Bobby fully tugged the flannel, a crumbled up paper fell out the pocket and rolled under a table.

In sharp, jerky movements Bobby got on his knees and reached under the table to retrieve the paper. He sat back on his haunches as he stared at the now uncrumpled paper.

**"Tonight Sunset Curve is performing at the Orpheum!"**

Bobby didn't even realize he was crying until his hands and the paper got wet. Once the tears started he couldn't stop them, sobs racking through his body. 'This was supposed to be us. **We** were supposed to be _legends_ '. "I-it's not fair." He blinked rapidly as he stumbled to his feet.

_"It's NOT FAIR!!"_

The former rhythm guitarist yelled as he ripped apart the flyer, and then he blacked out. Tears were hitting the floor as he ripped and smashed and destroyed everything in site. In his rage he placed his hand on the item closest to him, lifting it to smash before his brain registered what it was.

 _Luke's guitar_.

Suddenly, it was like the fight was sapped out of him as he gained awareness of his surroundings. He set the guitar down before slowly walking backwards out of the studio, hand slipping on the knob as he scrambled towards ~~their~~ his van.

He drove in silence, focused on getting to his destination, rubbing the tears out of his eyes when needed.

The dark washed over him, enveloping him in a sense of....almost comfort.

It wasn't often that that the boys had driven at night. The last time they had was when Alex had run away. It was almost as quiet as it was that night too, but the van had been filled with sobs the day Alex left.

Now, it was completely silent. He was so busy reminiscing he didn't notice the lull in traffic. Nor the fact that he had started it. A loud honk tore him out of his thoughts. Bobby blinked as he came across a red light, shaking his head to clear away the fog.

It wasn't too long until got there, and gently backed his car into the parking lot.

With a sigh, Bobby got out of the car and turned it off.

He hadn't been here since before the Orpheum, and looking out at the sand and the waves crashing along the shore, he doesn't think he would have been able to handle it before. He can't handle it now, really.

Sitting on the roof of the beat up van, he couldn't help but recognize the twisted humor in watching a sunrise while being on top of the the former Sunset Curve vehicle. Being at the beach brought him peace, peace he hadn't felt in a long time. But it brought _so_ much pain. The band has so many memories there. His _family_ had so many memories there.

Celebrating their first big gig. Playing for beach goers and seeing the others beam at the applause. Just sitting in the sand together after they all skipped prom. It felt like just yesterday they'd been playing on the beach, anticipating their biggest gig yet.

But it wasn't yesterday.

It was 2 years ago.

And now they're gone.

Bobby twisted the ring on his finger as his eyes blurred with tears.

He's alone.

**Author's Note:**

> First JATP fic! Sorry for the angst (I'm really not). 
> 
> Comment and leave kudos if you like.


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